Frequently Asked Questions
Membership
How do I join GWNN?
Just come to one of our Dinner Socials and sign up. The only
prerequisite it that you be 18 years of age or older and mentally
competent. You'll be given a Membership Card when we see your picture
I.D. with birth date on it.
What are the membership fees?
There aren't any. We are not-for-profit and have chosen to Keep It
Simple. Our operating expenses are covered by party donations. You don't
even need to receive the Newsletter, if you choose not to. (We don't see
why you wouldn't, since it's basically free, but there are special cases
that we've seen where discretion was definitely called for.)
Do I need to give you my real name?
You can give your scene name if you choose when becoming a Member or
signing up for the Newsletter.
What's the deal with the Membership Cards?
Membership cards are not required but are available to those who wish to
have them. You don't have to give your real name, but you do have to
prove you are of legal age receive one. They are useful for obtaining
discounts at certain retailers, buying party tickets, and gaining access
to various scene related events around the world. To obtain a card, come
to a munch.
How many people are in GWNN?
This is kind of a hard question to answer. We have several folks who
haven't been able to make it to any of our functions, yet they receive
the newsletter. We've got more that have come once and then disappeared,
for whatever reason. Hell, there are some that have been getting the
newsletter since the beginning that nobody's ever seen or met! So, if
you go by newsletter subscriptions, as of March, 2007 there are around
1400. The "Mark One Eyeball" approximation is around 250 to 300 more or
less regular participants.
What are the Members like? Who makes up GWNN?
The folks drawn to GWNN are those that have some interest, be it
peripheral or an expression of who they are, in BDSM and the other
things generally lumped together with it, such as fetishes, body art,
what have you. The ages range from college age to well-past retired, so
quite a cross-generation mix is present. As with any BDSM-related group,
we do tend to have a few more males than females. A fair number are
between 30 and 55, as that tends to be the age group where free-time is
more prevalent. We also have quite a mix of sexual preferences and we
encourage anyone, be they hetero-/bi-/gay-/whatever-sexual, to join.
I'm looking for [insert partner of dreams here]. Can I find them
in GWNN?
Hell if we know. We don't keep track of our members' kinks. We just
furnish the environment where you can meet folks and make friends. If
you come into GWNN with the attitude that you're simply looking for
someone to have "fun" with, you'll be very disappointed. We have a very
relaxed, laid-back atmosphere and look quite dimly on anyone who tries
to turn it into a "meat-market." Yes, we have our share of "cruisers" -
but they meet with relatively little success. GWNN members are there for
the social environment, not to pick up partners. And we actively
discourage overly-active solicitations. Mutual respect for each other as
human beings is one of our basic tenets.
Parties
How do I get into a Party?
You may, with your Membership Card, purchase tickets for a nominal fee:
details are available at the Dinner Socials. You can buy as many tickets
as you need or want, but whoever is obtaining the tickets must have a
Membership Card. You can bring 2 guests, also. They do not have to be
GWNN members - but you, as their host, are solely responsible for their
behavior at the Party. We keep the location of the Parties confidential
to reduce the potential hazard of clueless idiots intruding and causing
harm. We do not publish the location, nor will we give directions via
e-mail, so don't bother to ask. Note: If you look like you are under 27,
we will ask for your ID to prove you are 18 or over.
What goes on at a Party? What can I expect?
Lots of things - except for overt sex of any kind (see the Guidelines).
The Parties are organized so that members can relax and let their hair
down in a large, friendly, sociable group - where no one is going to
tell them that their kink/fantasy/body-art is sick or disgusting (an
attitude that's termed YKIOK - Your Kink Is OK). There will be people
playing (BDSM-style), various modes of dress and undress, talking,
sitting, observing, learning, etc. Folks will be wearing fetish
clothing, leather, suits, jeans, or even nothing except a very large
smile. Friends will be showing off their new whatever (i.e. BDSM toys,
fetish clothing, body art/modifications). The parties are divided into
three areas: one for socializing, a play area, and an after-care area.
We try to keep all play in the play area, but being friendly little
perverts, there might be some light play going on in the social areas.
There is a designated smoking area behind the stage.
How do I find somebody to play with?
Firstly, read this section and the Guidelines. What we recommend for
approaching someone to play is this: introduce yourself to them (if you
don't already know them) and simply, but politely, ask if they might
like to play with you. There are only three real outcomes from this:
They could say "No." (At which point you should accept the answer and,
if no further conversation seems likely, you should just thank them and
walk away. If you don't, you just stepped over the bounds of good social
behavior.) They could say "Not right now, but I'd like to know you
better." This is a pretty good indicator that the person you've just
asked is showing at least some interest in you and wants to chat. (Hint:
if you walk away from this situation, you'll probably have ruined any
chances of ever playing with this person.) They could say "Sure! Let's
rock-n-roll!" We highly recommend that you and your partner talk over
limits and other safety factors at this point, but there are some that
do like to go at it "cold." We ask that, in this last situation, you let
the DMs know that y'all are going to play without prior negotiations so
that there's at least an extra pair of eyeballs around, just in case of
trouble.
Someone keeps pestering me and won't go away. What do I do?
Tell a DM - their job is to make sure that the Party is safe and
consensual for everyone. If somebody won't take "No" for an answer, they
probably shouldn't be at the Party.
What happens if I see something going on that I feel is unsafe
or contrary to the Guidelines?
Again, tell a DM - immediately. Let them handle it. There have been a
couple of instances where non-scene participants have needed to jump in
to prevent an accident (BDSM furniture does break), but these are
extremely rare. People who are obviously extremely intoxicated fall into
this category, as well.
Someone's doing X right next to where I'm sitting and it's
disgusting me.
Either move or politely ask them to move. If you were there first,
they'll probably take their fun elsewhere. The whole structure of GWNN
is based on common principles of polite, social behavior. If someone is
bound and determined to make an absolute ass of themselves, they
probably won't be around for very long. We all have our little foibles
and dislikes. If something bothers you, don't look or participate.
There's plenty of other stuff to see and do. If it gets too much for
you, you can always leave.
Dinner Socials
What can I expect at a Dinner Social?
You can expect to see a fairly normal group of people sitting, eating,
chatting, and generally making a lot of lewd comments. We have our
"Official Announcements and Harassment of The Fearless Leader" around
8:30 p.m. Other than that, there's no structure to the Dinner Socials --
just folks hanging out together. However, one should realize that this,
like the Play Parties, is not a meat-market or swinging-singles/pickup
meeting. It's purely for socialization and meeting new folks and seeing
friends. (See the Guidelines and above for more details.)
How many people show up?
It can vary greatly, depending upon the time of year (December is
traditionally small), the weather, and who knows what other factors. (We
don't make a big study of it.) We've had, recently, as few as 25 to more
than 140. There have been times when we've basically taken over the
whole establishment.
What should I wear?
The most basic answer is "Anything that won't get you arrested." Wear
what will make you feel comfortable in a public place. Some folks feel
right at home "dressing-up" and some do not. We generally have a pretty
tame mix of street-wear, along with more obvious BDSM-type collars and
some street-latex clothing.
What do I do when I get there?
Well, that depends. If you want something to eat, we suggest that you go
ahead and get in line to order your food. After that, or if you're not
hungry, wander on back to where that fairly noisy group is. Find a spot
to sit down (you might want to check if it's already someone's spot as
we have a tendency to pop in and out of our seats) and introduce
yourself to those around you. That's the best way to get started. Don't
be afraid to ask questions: we were all nervous beginners at some point!